Employing a nanny can be a rewarding experience. You receive help with childcare and your child enjoys a relationship with a qualified caregiver who teaches him or her good values when you’re at work and can’t be by their side. However, many moms report feelings of guilty because they feel that they are not spending enough time with their kids. These feelings can lead to jealousy against your nanny – but here’s how to avoid them:
You’re allowed some “me time”
Whether you’re going back to work after being on maternity leave, or employing a nanny to care for your children while you’re at work, you shouldn’t feel guilty. “Me time” is an important part of your everyday life. Having time to yourself can strengthen the bond you have with your children and ensure you’re creating a positive atmosphere at home.
Your child needs to develop a healthy bond with their nanny
In order for your child to develop a relationship with their nanny, you need to let them have their alone time. If your child sees you at home while their nanny is around, they won’t be able to properly form an attachment to the nanny. Remember that you may feel jealous at first, but once you notice how well your child takes to the nanny, your feelings should ease up. It’s important to encourage your child to foster a bond with their nanny so that they develop healthy relationship skills with others.
It’s okay to miss milestones
Certain milestones might be missed throughout your child’s life, regardless of whether or not you’ve hired a nanny. An experienced nanny will never make you feel guilty for missing a moment in your child’s life. It’s okay to miss some events, and your nanny can share photos or videos with you if this is the case.
Understand that your child still loves you … a lot
In the end, there’s no stronger connection than the one between a mother and child. Just because they hug your nanny, and may even verbalize positive emotions towards him or her, this doesn’t mean that their love for you has taken a backseat. Even if you hear your child say, “I love you” to their nanny, you needn’t worry, you’re still their #1.
Mommy guilt is a common emotion, and it’s best to address it. Keeping your feelings of jealousy towards your nanny pent up won’t do you any good. Keep the lines of communication open with your nanny and you’ll be able to foster a great relationship that doesn’t affect your child negatively in any way.